


How Jake Got a Snapchat

by Lampshadez



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-25
Updated: 2016-08-25
Packaged: 2018-08-10 21:34:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7861933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lampshadez/pseuds/Lampshadez
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jake and Amy spend a weekend in Atlantic City and somehow end up hungover and married.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Jake Got a Snapchat

Amy woke up and groaned.  She was so hungover.  She turned and saw that the other side of the bed was empty.

“Jake?” she called.  She sat up, fast at first but slow when she felt her head pound.

“Jesus,” she said, putting her hand to her head.  She felt something weird on her finger.  She brought her hand down and looked at it.  She had a ring on her left ring finger.

“Oh no,” she said.  “Oh no no no.  Jake!”

“Amy?” she heard a voice call.

She got out of bed and walked toward the bathroom, where she saw Jake lying shirtless on the ground, in dress pants.  She herself was wearing a men’s dress shirt, probably Jake’s.  He had an undone tie around his neck, though.

“Uh,” Amy started, nervous.  She held her hand up.  “Did we get engaged last night?”

Jake laughed nervously.  He held his hand up.  “I think we got married.”

“What?!”

“Our rings match, that’s cute,” he said, sitting up.  “God, I feel like a small army is attacking my head.”

“What do you mean we got married?!” Amy asked.  “Check your pockets.  It isn’t real unless there’s a marriage certificate or license or contract written on a cocktail napkin or something.”

Jake chuckled.  “You check your pockets.”

Amy pointedly checked the pocket on her shirt, then stared impatiently at Jake.

“Nothing,” Jake said.

Amy offered Jake a hand to stand up.

“Thanks,” he said.  “Maybe we just bought matching rings,” he offered.  “Beats matching tattoos.”

Amy’s face dropped.  “Oh my god did we get tattoos?  Check my back.”

Jake laughed as Amy struggle to take her shirt off.  “You’re good,” he said.  He made a face.  “Except for that one on your face…”

“WHAT?!”   She turned to face the mirror.  She turned back to Jake and punched him in the arm.  “Not funny, Peralta!  I’m way too hungover to move that fast.”

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Peralta,” he said, earning a death glare from Amy.  Jake laughed a bit.

Amy rolled her eyes, took the two cups on the sink counter, and filled them with water.  She handed a glass to Jake.

“You know, I’m loving this whole _Risky Business_ look you’ve got going,” Jake said.

“I’m not wearing socks,” she said.  “And you’re one to talk, Chippendale’s.”

“Yeah?” Jake asked.  “You like that?”

“Yes,” Amy admitted.  “But maybe once the room stops spinning and my head stops pounding.”

“And once we get food.”

“Oh God yes,” Amy said.  “Room service?”

“Yeah, I don’t think we’re really fit to leave the room,” Jake said.

Amy laughed.  “Agreed.  What time is it anyway?”

Jake looked at his wrist.  “Twelve-seventeen.”

Amy groaned.

Jake laughed.  “This is, like, the latest you’ve ever slept, right?”

Amy nodded.  “I don’t remember much about last night, but I think we got in really late.”

“Yeah we did,” Jake said, making a suggestive face.

“Jake, I slept in the bed and you slept on the bathroom floor, wearing the pants you wore out last night,” Amy said.  “I’m pretty sure nothing else got in last night.”

Jake frowned.  “On that cheery note, I’m going to go order room service.  I’m thinking like five orders of toast and an entire pot of black coffee?”

Amy nodded.  “Sounds good.”

**-B99-**

Amy came out of the bathroom in a towel and started getting dressed.

“Oh!” Amy yelled.

Jake turned toward her, startled.  “Gah!  What?”

“I found it!” she said.

“What?!”

“Our marriage certificate!” Amy said.  She pulled it out of the suitcase and waved it at Jake.

Jake took it and looked at it.

“Holy crap we got married last night.”

“Look at that, make sure it’s valid, I’m going to put clothes on.”

“Yeah, let me just ascertain the validity of this marriage certificate,” Jake said.  “My number one hobby.”

“Jake!”

“I mean, it looks legit,” Jake said.  “It’s got our names on it.  The date’s right, our signatures are right.  There are witnesses that seem to be real people.  The church seems like a real place.”

“We got married in a church?”

Jake nodded.  “One of those chapel things they have down here,” Jake said.  “It’s called ‘Happy Endings Chapel.’  Oof, that’s unfortunate.”

“That’s very unfortunate,” Amy said, now fully dressed and walking up to stand beside Jake.

Jake exhaled loudly.  “So.  We got married last night.”

“I guess we did.”

Jake nodded a few times, trying to gather his thoughts.  “I mean, there have got to be quickie divorce places in Atlantic City.  Right?  You can’t have quickie wedding chapels and no quickie divorce places.”

“Okay, stop saying quickie,” Amy said.  “And,” she said, a bit slowly.  “Maybe we don’t need a quick divorce.”

“Would you rather a long one?”

“I’d rather not get one,” Amy said.  “I think.”

“What?”

Amy turned toward him and shrugged.  “Yeah,” she said.  “I don’t think it’s the end of the world.”

Jake looked confused and shocked and hopeful and afraid.

Amy took a deep breath as she reached for his hand and took his ring off.  She kneeled on the ground.

“Jake Peralta,” she said.  “Will you stay married to me?”

Jake’s jaw dropped a bit and that grew into a big smile.  “Yes, Amy Santiago.  I will stay married to you.”

Amy grinned as she put the ring back on Jake’s finger.  She stood up and kissed Jake.

Jake smiled into it and pulled her toward him.

**-B99-**

That night they laid in bed in the hotel, holding hands and thinking out loud.  Once they loaded themselves up on toast, coffee, and ibuprofen, they headed to the beach.  They had a good time and were tired, but were still a bit too wired to sleep.

“We’re married,” Jake said, voice breaking into a happy laugh on that last word.  “Babe, we got married.”

Amy smiled.  “Yeah.  I can’t believe it.”  Still, after a few moments, she tensed.

“What?” Jake said.

“What what?” Amy asked.  “We’re lying here in the dark, I didn’t do anything.”

Jake laughed.  “You tensed.  What’s up?”

“I don’t want to change my name.”

“Yeah, I figured,” Jake said.  He laughed.  “Is that what you’re tense about?”

“Well, yeah,” Amy said.  “You’re not…I don’t know.  Bummed?”

“ _Bummed_?” Jake laughed.  “No, Ame, if you want to keep your name, keep it.  I was actually thinking about taking Santiago.”

“Really?” Amy asked.

Jake shrugged.  “I don’t know.  Maybe.  Peralta is my dad’s name and he sucks.  Santiago is your name and you’re the best.  I don’t want our kids to have my dad’s name, I want them to have your name.”

“Jake, your name is Peralta,” Amy said.  “And you’re great.  Your mom’s name is Peralta and she’s great.  Peralta’s solid, don’t be ashamed of it.”

“Okay,” Jake said, and Amy could tell he was smiling.

“And, by the way, we’ve been married for less than twenty-four hours,” Amy said.  She frowned a bit.  “I think.  I don’t actually know what time we got married.  But, anyway, we’ve got time until kids.”

Jake turned toward Amy.  The room was dark but he could see the outline of Amy’s face well enough to see her features and her expression.

“Do you want kids?” Jake asked.

“Yeah,” she said finally.  “You know, I didn’t think I did until I met you.  I never saw myself as the mom type but then I realized that was because I hadn’t met anyone I wanted to have kids with.  And I want to have kids with you, Jake Peralta.”

Amy looked and saw Jake smiling widely, which he tried to hide when he saw her looking at him.

“Geez, can you imagine half-Jewish, half-Cuban kids?”

Amy laughed.  “Your nose and a great tan.  Amazing hair.”

“Or, conversely,” Jake said.  “Your adorable button nose and my amazing pallor.  But still great hair.”

“Well, we’ve got time,” Amy said.  “And let’s actually plan them, okay?  No more Atlantic City surprises.”

Jake laughed.  “Got it.”  He squeezed Amy’s hand.  “You know, we have to tell everyone at work.”

“Oh god,” Amy said.

**-B99-**

“Detectives Peralta and Santiago, good morning,” Captain Holt said as they walked into his office.  “Why did you want to meet with me?”

Amy and Jake exchanged a look.

“Well, sir,” Amy began.  “As you know, we try to be as upfront as possible with our relationship and try to be as professional as possible-.”

“Amy and I got married in Atlantic City over the weekend,” Jake blurted.

Amy turned toward him, jaw dropped.

“I see,” Holt said.  “And the result of this drunken endeavor will be…”

“We’re married,” Amy said.  “We’re staying married.”

“And it was very drunken, but definitely not a mistake,” Jake said.

Amy tried to contain her smile at him.

“Alright,” Holt said.  “Congratulations.”  He stood, so Amy and Jake did too, and Holt shook their hands.  “I suggest you go tell HR.”

“I emailed HR Jim this morning,” Amy said.  “He’s very excited, and he said he’s going to get the paperwork set up as soon as he comes in today.”

“HR Jim, great guy,” Jake said.

Holt nodded.  “Alright.  You can tell the squad at the morning briefing today.”

**-B99-**

“Alright, you all know your assignments,” Holt said, wrapping up the briefing.  “Detectives Santiago and Peralta have an announcement.”

“Oh my god, you’re leaving,” Boyle said.

“What?” Jake asked.  “No.”

“Actually,” Amy said, standing with Jake in the front of the room.  “We got married.”

“Oh my god, you’re dying!” Charles said.

“Charles, no!”

“Are you knocked up?” Rosa asked with a smirk.

“No.”

Gina laughed from the back of the room.  “Oh my god, this explains all the drunk snapchats I got from you, Jake!”

“You have a snapchat?” Amy asked Jake.

“Apparently?” Jake said.  “I got married, I made a snapchat, it’s been a big weekend.”

“Well, congratulations,” Terry said, bringing everyone back to attention.  “We’re all very happy for you.”

“Thanks, Sarge,” Jake said, smiling.  Amy echoed the sincere sentiment.

“Alright, that’s the last announcement for this briefing, dismissed,” Holt said.


End file.
